Makeup Remake

“Life is like makeup. If you are no happy with what you have on, take some off use some concealer and start over.”

People do tutorials all the time on taking your day time makeup to night makeup. This time I have taken my heavy dark makeup and transformed it into a softer day look. The great part is all I used is 3 products! No makeup remover…. concealer, a concealer brush (by bare minerals which I adore) and a makeup palette with shadow and lip colors.

I literally applied concealer to lighten the intense purple eye shadow once that was blended out I applied a more neutral tone and blended away. This gave me a great smokey soft eye look. I took the exact same concealer and applied it to my lips to lighten my lipstick color.

When I was younger I remember an art teacher telling me that artist don’t make mistakes, everything can be corrected or changed. I love that idea. Everything in life is that way. If you don’t like the path your life is on than change it.

Artistry is passion, your passion should be fun. Enjoy life ladies.

~T

PERFECTLY IMPERFECT & BEAUTIFULLY BROKEN

Beautifully Broken & Perfectly Imperfect

I end almost every one of my blogs with this saying (almost). The reason being is I use it as a positive reminder to myself.

I truly pour my heart out on these pages and expose things in my past and present most of my close family and friends don’t know. I hope that my past as crazy as it was to me will help inspire someone.

I overcame a life of lies, depression, cutting, abuse, and a horrible divorce. At one point my only prayer was begging God to free me from this World. It was not easy and often I have wanted to quit. But, I never do. I have always known in my heart that there was more to life than the struggles I was facing. I was destined for something great (still working on it).

I am exactly who I am because of those struggles. I still fight against people who are trying to break me. Am I broken? Sure a bit, but I am healing everyday by the grace of God. The things that have made me feel broken have lead me to the beautiful life I am living now. I am Beautifully Broken! Imperfect? Heck yes! I am a supersized helping of imperfection and I am proud of it! I was not created to be perfect and neither was anyone else. As a matter of fact if I think of it, the only person to walk the Earth perfect was Jesus Christ and he paid the price by  hanging on a cross. If that is the price for perfection, I am just fine being flawed. As a matter of fact that’s what I think of when I face adversity. Nothing I go through is more difficult than what Jesus endured for me.

I know not everyone reading this is “religious” and that’s a choice. My point in this is, it is okay to feel broken. The reality is you are only really “cracked” you never broke because you are still standing. It is okay to be imperfect because it gives you something to strive for. Something better is always around the corner. Every tear you cry could be the start to something better, every door that closes could lead to something better. If you quit than you will never know.

Stay Strong

~T

PERFECTLY IMPERFECT & BEATIFULLY BROKEN

Book Review: Circle Maker

It is no secret to most that know me on a personal level. I was never the book type. As I have matured I find myself reading more and more, and if it’s good I catch myself finishing a book.

Most recently I have been reading The Circle Maker. Wow, what an amazing and inspiring book. I am so obsessed I’m giving it an A+ an I haven’t finished it yet. So far this is the stand out quote “never put a comma where God puts a period, and never put a period where God puts a comma.” I am convinced at this point I will be using this as my life motto.

I think of all the times I gave up on something, and have spent time thinking “what if”? Could it be that I ended my story too soon, did I put a period where a comma should have been? In life there are set backs and I think as a whole people tend to give up too soon. If we try and fail maybe we try again but eventually most of us quit. However that no your not going to do that could have been a not yet.

Would we continue to fight through failure and rejection is there was a promise that no matter what, no matter the sacrifice that you would receive a great reward. Would we still feel like we have failed?

As a Christian woman building on a relationship with God this hit me hard. I have quit so many times on my dreams. The dream comes back I try and I quit because I am not receiving reward fast enough. The fact that my dream refuses to go away, now feels like God yelling  me: “hey stupid! How long until you realize I decide how and when? If you aren’t patient you won’t succeed but I promise if you quit you will never finish.” That’s it! If I stop I will never finish.

So I am grabbing that awesome pink pearl eraser from my childhood and erasing the periods that didn’t belong in my life.

Don’t stop, pray and press through. You don’t want to be one failure away from success.

~T

Abuse is not always a bruise

I have been sitting on this poster regarding emotional abuse for months now; I knew I wanted to write about it because it is such a relevant topic I just wasn’t sure how to approach it.

So in true to myself fashion I am going to keep it very real. I come from a background surrounded by abuse. The majority of abuse I endured was emotional and verbal and I slowly sipped in into a deep empty hole and lost myself. Now I am in no way trying to belittle victims of physical abuse because yes I endured a bit o that also, and caused some (prior marriage).

I can remember my family and friends telling me to leave and get out of the relationship I was in and telling me just how bad it was. The thing was there were no bruises on me, so I didn’t feel abused. I made so many excuses for the words and actions that were taking place; I even started to believe them. In hind sight I now realize that in itself was abusive. I was inflicting and allowing myself to be emotionally abused.

So let’s visit the topics on the poster.

1. Walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting your partner- are you familiar with this. It’s the: I don’t think they will like this, what will they think, little white lies kind of mentality. You may say well you should care about the other persons feelings that is respect. STOP THAT! Caring and being afraid of the outcome are different things. I care what my husband thinks, so if I want to do something and I am not sure I will tell him and we will discuss it. But because I care and I can talk to him he communicates and we agree on something together. There I a difference and caring goes 2 ways as does respect.

2.You feelings and opinions are rarely validated- you matter, your feelings and opinions matter. You are a human just as much as your partner, you both bleed blood. This doesn’t mean that either of you always have to give in but again it is a respect issue. In my prior marriage I had feelings and opinions and I would voice them and the response was usually: that’s stupid, or I was wrong, or a big oh well. My husband now definitely doesn’t always agree with me an will correct me when needed, but always listens to my babbling. One persons perception is their reality. You live your feelings so they are real.

3.Your partner is mistrustful of you for no reason- Ugh my favorite!!! well least favorite really. In my past his mistrust had gotten so bad he would sabotage my chance to go anywhere. While he was always out and caught numerous times being dishonest and unfaithful, it was me he didn’t trust. I worked and so he would “show up” and I took care of kids. I could go with family but never out with friends, if he knew I had pans he would leave before me n leave the kids behind so I couldn’t go. The best was if we went out in public he would freak out if a guy looked at me for 10 seconds… like run after cars in parking lots to prove he was tough… but at dinner would spend the whole time drooling over a cute waitress.

4.Unable to discuss problems- if you can’t communicate there is a problem. Lack of communication comes from fear. Ask your self why you can’t talk about the issues, what are you afraid of?

5.You feel stuck or confused- This kills me inside, I literally stayed for 7 years because I had been convinced nobody could love me. That without him I was worth nothing, that his attitude was somehow love. It was like I was convinced his presence or lack of was a blessing to me an our children. I felt stuck. I was scared if I said I wanted to leave he would be angry, there would be a fight, he would take of driving crazy- probably under the influence and he would get in an accident and I would feel guilty. I was afraid to leave because I was worried about him and his safety. But he did not worry about me or the kids.

You were born free. There is healing from the pain and heart ache, Jesus Christ provides that for you. The only relationship you NEED is with God. If you can trust that he will provide you can find the light. It is what guided me out of that hole I was in. I am stronger than ever before and while I struggle with accepting love, I have it. Please, please if you feel like you are in an abusive relationship, find help.

~T

PERFETLY IMPERFECT & BEAUTIFULLY BROKEN